10 Signs You Are Emotionally Unavailable

Let me clarify a huge misconception, the lover who dumped you on a Monday, via text, on your birthday, after seven straight days of passionate lovemaking under the stars, is probably not bipolar, a psychopath, or chronically depressed but is more than likely just another emotionally unavailable asshole.

Stop inaccurately prescribing real medical conditions to insensitive idiots with no regard for your feelings. Emotional unavailability or (Un-Emo for short) is often a conscious choice decision; the average person who goes around breaking hearts and hurting their friends chooses to, so they don’t have to deal with the real pain in their lives.

You know them, the Icebox types, the ones who sing along extra loud when August Alsina’s “No Love” plays in the party, courtesy of the inexperienced DJ who has no idea what single people want to hear at a club. Those of us who have met an UN-Emo person know that you cannot tell that they are about to ruin your life just by looking at them. The only way to discover an Un-Emo is to date, befriend, or be related to one.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I have the powers of super, emotional intelligence and I dissect human behavior in my spare time when I’m not out breaking hearts, destroying egos, and dismantling friendships. That’s right! I’ve been accused of being emotionally unavailable by very reliable sources and while its not the most glamorous lifestyle, it allows one to put up with a lot of unfortunate, horrifying and sensitive issues that would leave the average person in a permanent state of devastation.

I would go so far as to say that Un-Emo people balance out the world by not giving a f*** and by listening to the sad, depressing issues of their over-sensitive counterparts. Emotionally unavailable people have a purpose, it may not be to love, give good advice, or truly care about your problems, but it may be to discover solutions, motivate you to heal, and tell you that its not the end of the world.

Remember, Un-emo’s are not bad people, they just refuse to process your pain. It also doesn’t make them the best friends or lovers so you have the right to know when you’ve met one. To help you out, here are 10 signs you are or that you’ve met someone who is emotionally unavailable. Not everyone displays all the signs at once:

You hate crying and force yourself to fight back tears, no matter how sad or terrible the situation is.


You have to work really hard to consciously focus on reenacting a scenario in your head in order to feel any sympathy whatsoever when a person tells you his/her problems.


You inherently believe that nothing is so bad that you can’t get over it.


You don’t spend more than a day mourning a loss.


You can move on from a relationship like the drop of a hat.


You can cut off your closest friends and never look back.


You rarely fall in “love” and you see relationships in a more practical way


You can handle hearing a lot of people’s problems


You give logical, emotionless advice


You have feelings but you are conscious of when to display them and when not to. You are often mistaken as cold but you are actually very emotionally aware.

If you are UN-emo or you know someone who is, what do you find most frustrating about the person? The best way to break through to an Un-Emo is to let them know that their behaviours are hurting your feelings and if they care enough, they will find a way to strengthen the connection they have with you, even if it comes from a logical place.

  • I think I may fit these traits. Most of them. However, I am a very emotional and impulsive person so Im not sure how that all lines up or shakes out. If Im really into a women and really want her there is no way possible I can be emotionally unavailable. Im only emotionally unavailable when I settle in courting. So these days Im trying to only date who Im really into so im no longer like that.